Gabbar: Kitne aadmi the?
Sambha: sarkaar 2 the
Gabbar: mujhe ginti nahi aati, 2 kitne hote hain?
Sambha: 2 ek ke baad aata hai
Gabbar: aur 2 ke pehle?
Sambha: 2 ke pehle ek aata
Gabbar: beech mein kaun aata hai?
Sambha: beech mein koi nahi aata
Gabbar: toh phir dono ek saath kyun nahi aate?
Sambha: 2 ek ke baad aata hai kyunki 2 ek se bada hai
Gabbar: 2 ek se kitna bada hai?
Sambha: 2 ek se ek bada hai
Gabbar: 2 ek se ek bada hai toh ek ek se kitna bada hai?
Sambha: Sarkaar, aap mujhe goli maar do
Yeh Biwiyan apne pati ko “A.G.” kyon kehti hain?
Kyonki Biwiyan Sanskari hoti hain;
aur sabke saamne “Abey Gadhe” nahin keh sakti.
Isliye, short form main bulati hain “A.G.”.
Go down to c my heart..
.
.
.
.
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Dekha.
Kitna saaf hai mera DIL,
Bole to ekdam Aapke.
Dimag Ki tarah.
Ek American nai ek Swami se bola,
Hamare yaha shaadi e-mail se bhi hoti hai.
Is par Swami bola kamal hai,
Hamare yaha to sirf female se hoti hai.
Pyaar mein Juban chup ho to ankhen bolti hai,
Ankhen chup ho to dil bolta hai,
Aur agar dil bhi chup ho to?
Toh Log bolte hai
“Ram Naam Satya Hai”
Tohar sms jab awat hai,
Hamar rom-rom khil jawat hai.
Badan ma gudgudi howat hai.
Eema tohar sms ka kouno kasur naahi,
Woh to hamar phoneva ka vibrator on hojawat hai.
Chaewala ladki dekh kar bola: bholi si soorat, ankhaon mein masti, dur khadi sharmaye, aae haaye,
Ladki boli: kali si surat, haath me ketli, dur khara chilaye, chae chae.
Boy says 2 girl: tute hue dil se pyar karogi ya dil tutne tak pyar karogi.
Girl says: tuti hui chapal se pite ga ya chappal tutne tak pitega.
Hotel mein khana kha k sardar haath k badle wash basin dhone laga.
Waiter ne pucha kya kar rahe ho?
Sardar bola: dikhta nahi lekha hai wash basin
Tumsa koi doosra zameen par hua,
Toh Rab se shikayat hogi….
Ek toh jhella nahi jaata,
Doosra aa gaya to kya halat hogi!!!
Propose karne ka sher:
Kutta mar gaya rajaai mein,
Main paagal ho gaya teri judaai mein
Haathi nadi mein beh nahin sakta,Apun tere bina reh nahin sakta…
1 admi ke paas 1 kauwa tha
Wo bahut naram-mulayam tha
To aadmi uska naam kya rakhega ?
.@
:-C
:’(
:)
;-)
:-)
My-Crow-Soft !
What is the diff. Between dava & daru?
Ans: Dava is like girlfriend that comes with expiry date.
Daru is like WIFE, jitni PURANI hogi UTNA sir CHAD ke bolegi…
In art gallery : couple sees picture of a girl covered by leaf.
Husband was keep watching her.
Wife : ab chaloge bhi ya Hawa k aane ka intezar karte raho gey?
Sardar sharab peeta ro raha tha.
Sharab wala : kyon ro rahe ho?
Sardar : aur kiya karon? Main jis larki ka naam bhulana chata hoon. Us ka naam yaad he nahi aa raha.
Wife : I will die.
Husband : I will also die.
Wife : why do u want to die?
Husband : because main itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta.
Maa: beti tum sari raat kahan thi?
Beti: main sari raat apne boy friend k saath thi.
Maa: to kar aayi apna mouh kala.
Beti: to kiya hua fair & lovely hai na.
Raat ki khamoshi raas nahi aati
Meri parchayi bhi ab mere paas nahi aati
Kuch aati hai toh bas teri yaad
Jo aakar ek pal bhi mujhse door nahi jaati..
Raat gujri phir mehekti subah ayi,
Dil dhadka phir tumhari yaad ayi,
Aanko ne mehsoos kiya uss hawa ko ,
Jo tumhe chhukar hamare pass ayi.
Aankhon ki zuban wo samaj nahi pate
Honth magar kuch keh nahi pate
Apni bebasi kis tarah kahen
Koi hai jinke bina hum reh nahi pate
Hum aapko in aankho mein,
Yun basa liya karte hai,
Ja sake jaha tak hamari ye nazar,
Aapko har jagha paa liyaa karte hai.
Patient to Doc: Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hai,
uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hu,
thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi…..!
Husband asked his newly married wife, she had any boyfriend before marriage?
Wife: silent
He said, main is khamoshi ko kiya samjhon?
Wife replied: Kamine! Ginay to do :p
………… ……… ……… ……… …
Sardar by mistake goes into ladies toilet, all ladies suddenly stand up!
Sardar: izzat dil mai ho bus yahi kafi hota hai, Betho Betho
………… ……… ……… ……… …
Hathi aur chenti ka prem vivah hua,
Dusre din hathi mar gaya,
Cheenti boli “wah re mohabbat”
Ek din ka pyar mila,
Aur sari umar kabar khodne ka kaam mila
………… ……… ……… ……… …
Ek bar 300 pathan ship main travel kar rahe tahe,
Lekin sare k sare mar gaye.
Kaise?
Nothing serious.
Ship bich main kharab hogai.
To dhakka dene niche utar gaye.
Titanic was sinking.
An Englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards !
**********
Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.
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How did Santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
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Santa: I have swallowed a Kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
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Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.
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Santa falls in love with a nurse… After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: “I luv u sister .”
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Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.
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Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl .
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A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
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Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn’t came back yet!
Santa: Why don’t u cook something else? .
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An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!
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Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
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Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn’t tell me where.
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Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says “Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!”
************
Santa’s wife dies. He is calm, but his wife’s lover is crying furiously…
Finally, Santa consoles him: Don’t worry buddy, I will marry again.
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Why did Santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.
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Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home . The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming , earlier I sat on the back seat.
